How Come He's a "Player", yet She's a "Slut?"

On more than a couple of occasions, I hear the following question put up for discussion:

"How come when I man has lots of women he's praised for being a player, but if a woman has lots of men she's accused of being a slut?"

That is indeed a very fascinating question. After having studied the human psyche for 9 years, I can see why….and it's ironic.

Men and women are completely equal. Both divine beings in male and female form, or just as much animals as each other. Which ever way you want to look at it.

It's evident that women like to be PURSUED. Statistics show- and I've discussed this with my female friends who have re-affirmed- that the vast majority of women are sexually submissive. Women often like men to predominantly take charge, both out in the world(exceptions are made for the business/work context), as WELL as in intimate contexts.

So….in a sense, women just have to say "Yes", and enjoy the ride(no pun intended). That is not a mode which takes very much effort. At ALL.  It seems to suggest that they don't have to (other than the pressure to look "attractive") put much effort into courtship at all. Whereas men for the most part, put a TON of effort into it.

So, if a man has a lot of sexual variety(other than if he's filthy rich and famous- though even still he probably put a ton of effort into it), he probably has "Enough" to offer from his lifestyle- which wealth may be part of indeed, but so might there be many other attributes.

However, women just tend to focus on their looks, and, if they aren't Gold-Diggers, then their careers too. So, they get approached CONSTANTLY, and all they have to do to 'get' the man, is comply. Simple. Therefore, if she's having a lot of sexual variety, then she's saying 'Yes' a lot, which doesn't require any effort- while the men are usually putting in a ton of effort. So….obviously that's extremely frustrating for men. If a woman has sexual variety- most likely effortlessly- and the man either also does with much effort….or maybe he doesn't have variety….then that's not fair to men, pisses them off, and thus the word "slut" is used out of frustration.

I'm NOT saying it's EASY being a woman. It's not at ALL. But in the context of courtship/seduction….it SEEMS  to be EXTREMELY easy. That's my theory. HOWEVER, it's crucial to recognize.......

A woman’s sex life- and overall mental/emotional health for that matter- is LARGELY dependent upon her personal history. And what right does anyone have to judge her for that? I’m answering that FOR you: ZERO.

So, I think the word “slut” is- in acknowledging the fact that it’s most likely going to be said by MOST people if there’s a negative reference, a judgement, encapsulating it. It takes a LOT of mindfulness to separate the linguistics from the energy behind it.

In conclusion, I think promiscuity is totally unappealing, and depressing, and I have zero ACTIVE respect for it on the “Positive Scale”. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I ACTIVELY DISRESPECT HER, MENTALLY OR VERBALLY JUDGE HER FOR IT on the NEGATIVE SCALE. Because…THAT WOULD BE A TERRIBLE CAUSE made by my NEGATIVE EGO, and humanity reflect each other….our Oneness principle taught in Zen. To judge her would be to corrode myself.